Tag Archives: parenting

Our Legacy. Our Kids.

27 Feb

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I guess it’s just a fact that it takes death to appreciate life. My friend, Lisa, died suddenly- she was only forty- left behind two beautiful children. What is at least a bit of comfort to all who know her  is her children. Lisa lives on through her kids.  They are her legacy.

It’s true that there are those who live beyond their years through their actions- leaders, inventors, innovators.  But in reality that is only a small fraction of us.  Everyone else lives on through children.  The impact we make on our kids lasts generations through all time.

Living for our kids and defining ourselves through our children has somehow managed to become something really bad. A sign of parents who don’t know how to have their own life.  A sign of parents who are somehow imbalanced.   Being proud that your child does well as if it’s your own accomplishment is mocked.

I think we’re wrong.  Ultimately, we are judged by our actions and the fruits of our labor.  Ultimately, we live on through our children and their children.  What’s so bad about wrapping ourselves in our children’s lives? Are we afraid to face their failures as our own?  Are we afraid that as they grow, we will be left behind, unable to grow with them?

Lisa, I will always remember your incredibly infectious laugh.  Sorry you had to go so soon.  May you live on through your legacy.  Thank you for reminding me what an extraordinary role moms play as we bring children into this world and raise them.

 

 

Let’s Be Honest . . . I Have It All?

22 Feb

tumblr_m8r13nG1qv1r9q7qwI’m a mom. I have 5 kids and 1 husband.  I am an attorney. I teach.  I volunteer.  I just wrote a book and so now I’m on the speaking circuit too.

How do I do it? What’s the simple trick that you can do too?  The answer of the right combination of organizational skills, know how, and tricks of the trade?

Well here it is:   I don’t do it.  It’s impossible.  Something always gives.  The truth is when we focus on one area another gives.  Sure, we can multi-task, have our kids lay out their clothes the night before, go out Saturday night with a friend/potential business partner.  But at the end of the day, there is a limit.

Be honest-  What do you sacrifice to “do it all”?  And by the way, when did “good enough” become enough?

Not a Helicopter Mom

19 Feb
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  • There was a while there my 11 year old would go and sit on the roof ledge for some peace and quite.  He actually put a pillow on the roof while he sat and read.
  • When his kindergarten teacher asked me to get a folder for my son, I turned to my five year old and told him it’s his job to get one at home and if he doesn’t have it the next day, his teacher would not be happy.  I think his teacher would’ve reported me, if she could have.
  • We have five minutes to get out of the house . . . Each of my kids have come out without shoes at least once.  But after that, they were ready . . .
  • It’s 30 degrees out- my kids go to school in shorts and no winter jacket.
  • Mattress Surfing down the steps- how cool is that?
  • Homework is nonnegotiable.  They must help around the house . . . they do that sometimes.
  • And yes, I have a son with a nut allergy and we still have them in the house.  The horror!

I believe kids should be kids.  They need to experience life and live it to it’s fullest.  They need to learn to navigate some challenges on their own.  They may get some cuts and bruises along the way, but the lessons they learn will serve them a lifetime.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t pray to God to give me the wisdom to do the best by each of my kids.  For as soon as I became a mom, I realized there is no way mere mortals alone can face the wrath of crying babies or hormoned teens. Here’s to us moms on the front lines. . .